New, Delicious Species Discovered | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

New, Delicious Species Discovered | The Onion - America's Finest News Source: "MANAUS, BRAZIL—An international team of scientists conducting research in the Amazon River Basin announced the discovery of a formerly unknown primate species inhabiting a remote jungle area roughly 300 miles from Manaus Monday. According to scientists in Manaus, the new species, Ateles saporis, is 'an amazing biological find' and 'incredibly delectable.'"